Have the effects of trauma made you feel you have lost your mind?

I cannot count how many times a client has sat across the room from me, tearfully explaining who they once were or what they once were capable of doing. Desperately trying to cling to the memory of when they were not “crazy” or “broken”. It’s normal to question why this is happening and why you are suddenly unable to perform or function like you used to be able to do. There is nothing more disorienting than when your brain is no longer safe, when you cannot remember things the way you used to or have the energy you used to have. When you look in the mirror and wonder “who even am I? Will this ever get better? Am I broken? Am I crazy? What is wrong with me?”

I want to provide you with reassurance and hope that you are absolutely not crazy or losing your mind. It's not “all in your head” as some people may try to tell you. This is very real, and it's happening for a reason. You have suffered a trauma. The worst types of traumas are the invisible ones. The ones you carry silently through the day, with the average person having no idea you are wounded. And yet every fiber of your being screams out that you are very much wounded. 

Trauma plays a very important role biologically in our brain and body. It is our protector, our motivator. It keeps us safe, at least that's the goal of trauma. It does this by creating a few key reactions that you have likely heard about or experienced: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. While we often favor one over the others, we can go in and out of all of them at any given time when triggered. 

What do all these “f” words mean?

I am sure you have a very different “f” word you may have uttered from time to time during this process, but the way trauma shows up for us tends to be personal to us and it matters for us to know ourselves and how we react so we can understand our experiences better. While we all definitely are capable of fight, flight, freeze and fawn, everyone tends to have one they go to more readily than others. For example, I am a solid freeze response. Is there a spider or a bee near me? I will go dead still and close my eyes and beg someone to handle it. That is my go to response when I am with someone. However if I am alone, I am able to bring myself to flee or to fight (or in this case kill the spider). So while I have my preprogrammed response, freeze, given certain circumstances I can switch into fight or flight as needed. And we all work that way. Let's define each of these and help understand how they show up. 

Fight: Responding with anger, defensiveness, or control in an attempt to protect oneself or regain power.

Flight: Escaping the situation—physically or emotionally—through avoidance, distraction, or overworking.

Freeze: Feeling stuck, shut down, numb, or unable to think or act.

Fawn: Prioritizing others’ needs, people-pleasing, or appeasing to stay safe and avoid conflict.

During trauma, these responses and reactions operate to keep us safe or move us to safety. And that information and the experiences we have then get stored into the brain and the brain draws on that to learn how to react and respond to future situations. When dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event, triggers can cause those reactions to be active more often than not. For a lot of people that can be confusing, frustrating, and exhausting. Many of my clients express the sentiment of wishing they did not have the trauma response at all, that they could get rid of it and never feel any of this “crazy” again. 

I recently spoke with my friend Brent Woods MA LPC CSAT, owner and lead therapist at Woods Counseling Services, to pick his brain on this topic and get his perspective about the importance of our trauma responses. I asked him two main questions, and he gave me some incredible insight regarding trauma reactions and their importance. 

Question 1: Why is it a problem to ignore my trauma reaction or numb it away?

Trauma reactions are a lot like the check engine light on your car. When it comes on, you have two choices. You can deal with it and figure out what’s going on under the hood, or you can pretend it isn’t there. Some people literally put tape over the light so they don’t have to look at it.

Most of us do the emotional version of that. We stay busy. We bury ourselves in work. We scroll, snack, drink, or push through whatever we’re feeling. Anything to avoid paying attention to what’s going on inside.

But ignoring the warning doesn’t fix the issue. What starts as a loose sensor becomes a failed converter. Then come the misfires. Then you’re stuck on the side of the highway with a dead car and a repair bill that could’ve been a few hundred dollars instead of a few thousand.

Trauma works the same way. When you numb your reactions, the underlying issue doesn’t disappear. Your nervous system stays on high alert. Stress hormones stay elevated. Your body keeps scanning for danger even when nothing is actually wrong.

That’s when the emotional breakdowns start. The same arguments play out in your relationships. You wake up tired even after a full night of sleep. Your reactions come out sharper than you meant them to. Your body feels tight and restless. You can’t slow down or settle, even in quiet moments.

These aren’t random symptoms. They’re connected. They’re signals pointing back to the original warning your system tried to give you.

Covering the light might feel easier for a while, but dealing with it early can save you from the full shutdown later.

Question 2: If it’s all in my head, is it real?

Yes. Completely real.

People usually ask this when they’re minimizing their own pain. It’s a way of saying “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “Other people had it worse,” not a statement about what’s true.

Someone shared with me recently that a simple moment at work hit them harder than they expected. It was an ordinary morning meeting. People settling in. Coffee in hand. A coworker got praised for something they’d done well, and the room reacted the way rooms normally do. Smiles. A little applause. And this person knew they were supposed to present next.

That’s when their body flipped into full alert. Breathing tightened. Muscles tensed. Their chest went tight. They were trying to look calm while every part of them was bracing for something they couldn’t name. By the time they made it to their car afterward, their hands were shaking.

“It’s ridiculous,” they said. “It’s all in my head.”

But most of the important parts of life are “in your head.” Your memories. Your hopes. The way you know your child’s laugh. Your love for the people you care about. Nobody asks you to prove those are real.

As we talked through it, it became clear their body wasn’t reacting to the meeting at all. It was reacting to old experiences where being noticed meant being criticized or singled out. Their nervous system had learned early on that attention in a room could quickly turn painful. And even though those situations are long in the past, the body remembers the rules it used to survive.

That’s not imaginary. That’s learned survival.

Your trauma reactions show up in your thoughts, your relationships, your choices, your ability to feel safe and grounded. The fact that they come from your nervous system doesn’t make them less real. It makes them human.

You do not have to face this alone

If you find yourself in the depths of dealing with these trauma reactions and feeling hopeless, directionless, or unsure what to do next, please reach out. Our therapists would love to help you learn to understand your reactions, heal what is bringing them out in you, and learn to cope more healthily and productively when they do show up. Simply call or text (616) 284-1329 or email our office manager Emily at echivis@mariposacounselingllc.com