The Gift of Authenticity

This blog has been the most personal one I have written yet, and I believe it to be important. Authenticity is an exceptional value to hold, but it is also a gift that can be given to others.

My favorite part of working at Mariposa is the ability to help people, and I do a lot of writing to support that. I have written a lot of what is on the Mariposa website. I help create standard operating procedures as we grow. I respond to many emails from people being bravely vulnerable simply by reaching out for help. Most of all I enjoy writing for the blog. 

The blog has become a space I have been able to explore my creativity and offer even more of my heart to helping. To write for the blog I pull from my own lived experiences, and I get to speak on lessons that I have learned through my own healing journey. When I wrote the blogs Benefits of Seeing a Therapy Intern or Struggling with Motivation, I am able to do so with ease because I myself have seen a therapy intern as well as dealt with motivation struggles.

Here is my confession: I wrote Struggling with Motivation specifically as a pep-talk for myself. Last week I was struggling with feeling like all I could do was the bare minimum, and then I would judge that as me being “not good enough”. The blog was full of tips that I have used in the past with success, but this time my tips felt impossible for me to put into action. I just couldn’t get myself to even set a timer, rest was not something I felt like I deserved, and the last thing I wanted to do was have somebody else see me with my struggles.

With great frustration I continued to show up as much as I could. How hypocritical of me to write on a topic that I’m suffering so hard with right now, I thought to myself. My biggest motivator at the time of my writing was that if the reader just does what I say and not as I do then they won’t struggle like I was struggling. Wow… that takes so much of the humanity out of my experience. Life is not struggle free, and while I may have great tips, ones that can even work, I am not immune to having a difficult time.

During my down period I had a friend reach out to me. She’s the kind of friend I really look up to and admire. A friend who is incredibly smart, always helping people, has a remarkable family, and is an absolute delight to be around. She text me about how she was struggling to keep her temper together after her child made a complete mess of the living room. She had just cleaned in preparation for guests to come over and was stressed at the more work to be done on top of dealing with some health issues. I of course validated her experience, but I also knew there wasn’t anything I could actually do. What felt so powerful to me in that moment was to witness her show up so authentically. She didn’t try and hide away the frustrations she was experiencing or the disappointment she felt. She came to me, raw and vulnerable, seeking connection.

I knew at that moment that this week's blog would be about authenticity. My job here at Mariposa Counseling has had a beautiful impact on my life. I feel incredibly honored to be able to help people and blessed to be encouraged to grow in my strengths. I very much want to embody our core values, and not because I have to, but because I believe in them. Especially authenticity. You see, when my friend came to me, I did not feel burdened by her, actually quite the opposite. I was relieved to see that I’m not the only one with struggles, and I have an appreciation for the trust she gave me by showing up so vulnerable. 

When I hid away what I was experiencing last week I felt significantly disconnected, and quite frankly lonely in my mess. When my friend came to me so authentically I was reminded of how powerful authenticity is in our lives. When we show up authentically it gives those around us a sense of permission to do the same and is a way to deepen connections for more honest and caring relationships. My struggles last week ultimately came down to a need for connection with others and I was so grateful for the reminder that others want me to show up exactly as I am and where I am at. Mess and all.

So, let this be your permission to let go of what you think others want of you. Let go of trying to control their perceptions. Simply show up authentically, just as you are, and see what happens. Based on my own experiences, I’m guessing that you too will see a positive change in your relationships with others.

We have therapists that provide a safe space so you can explore who you are and then they can help guide you to knowing how to show up authentically. Offering immediate availability both in person and virtually they will partner with you to meet your goals and get you living the life you desire. Call or text (616) 284-1329 or email echivis@mariposacounselingllc.com

Emily Chivis

Office Manager